The Beginning

Oh first post, how exciting! Well, I'm the Vicious Panda (Pandy for short), and I'm here to document my transformation into a fit, healthy and disciplined machine. I'm currently an incredibly unmotivated sloth like creature, who, like the panda, spends a lot of time eating and sitting and being fat. I weigh 104kg (228lb) and am thoroughly revolting.


I am a compulsive over eater and have been going to Overeaters Anonymous, but have only gotten bigger. The program is fine, but I haven't been working the steps and I find that my group is just a pity party and that's not going to help anyone. Nothing worse than a group of fat women, sitting around talking about how fat they are, and how they are powerless, and how God will save them, while they continue to stuff their faces with donuts. So enough of this "I am powerless" bullshit, I'm taking my power back. Only my decisions have put me where I am, and only my decisions are going bring me back to my ideal weight.

Don't get me wrong, the concepts I have take from OA are very practical, and I intend to utilise the ones that work for me. For example, the food plan is essential for me. Without a daily plan, I will binge, that I know from experience. By writing a list each evening of the food I intend to eat the following day, I take the guess work out of eating and am less likely to make poor decisions. I have also found meditation to be helpful. It is surprising how easily rational thoughts can flow when you let your mind be still.

Discipline is something I have never practised. I'm a quitter and I always have been. I quit whenever things get hard or uncomfortable. I've quit every diet I've ever been on, every exercise regime I've ever tried. I have a violin I haven't touched for 3 years and will have to start from scratch again.

I also make excuses. I can't exercise because I'm too tired and it will make me even more tired. I can't exercise because I have a toddler and I'm too busy. If I hide that candy wrapper in the bottom of the bin, no will know and it will be like it never happened. Excuses are the escape route for all overeaters, because we don't really want to stop eating and start exercising. We just want a magic pill to take away the fat and allow us to continue enjoying our food. We don't want to face reality that we have to put limitations on ourselves, we'd rather just close ourselves off from the world and stuff our faces. Most of us will never face reality until the day they have to smash out a wall in our house just to remove our massive decaying bodies.

I have to change this pattern of my personality or I will never have anything to be proud of. So here I am on day one. I am taking the first step and I will do this if it kills me.

xx- Pandy


“Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.” - Jim Rohn